Reasons to Shine

Hiiiii! it's almost Christmas time! which is my FAVORITE time of the year! however, I realized I do not actually like winter weather! well...I like snow, but just bitter cold. uhhhh-no thanks! I love summer time! going swimming everyday, working out in the brisk mornings, or running in the middle of the day with the intense sun! or going on a late night bike ride when it's still warm and its dark until 10 pm! now...it gets dark at 5:00 pm! omg! that leaves no time for fun! and I don't think cold is romantic weather! and you can't wear fun party dresses because you have to mask them with big cumbersome jackets! and FINALS are during winter! I have 6 papers due this week! Even though I do not like this bitterly cold weather...I will have JOY! because Christ's joy runs through me always! not just when the weather is nice!! Joy can't be situational! So bring on the frigid weather, and dry hair and pale skin....weeeeeee!

okay, so I haven't been online shopping except for christmas presents lately..because I am working on improvement!! but I DID just make a coooooool purchase! one of my fav tv shows, pretty little liars has the best fashion! I saw this owlita pheasent earring on the show and was instantly captivated! chhhhheck it out!

I think it's awesome! Mine looks a little different though! more vibrant!

last night was the Christmas parade! JBU had an athlete float, so I walked in it!! It was soooo fun! this is a picture from last year's parade! I was with my TWO most fav people in the world! erica and annie!!!

My hair is so much longer now!! Annie wasn't at the parade because she is in Africa!! but I think she gets back today!! I am so excited, I have missed her so much! the wonderful thing about our friendship is that distance does not have an impact on our friendship! same with Erica, she lives in Russelville now..but we are still just as close as we were when we became best friends in middle school! I love her so much! I have known her longer than any of my friends, and I hope we stay close forever!!!! that's the thing about genuine friendships..if you want them to last they will! but it takes effort from both parties! I know there are people in my life that I will know forever! I hope so anyways :) I am blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life!!

okay, some of my favorite people in the whole wide world are the little girls I coach!!!!! they mean so much to me!! I have done private lessons for about 15 different girls, and each one is unique, and has different talents. right now, I am coaching five girls several days a week, and on the weekends they compete in 3v3 tournaments! Our team name is Kidd's Kids!! Yesterday, they competed in a tournament and got second place!! I was so proud of them!! I feel more joy coaching them then I ever did playing!! I love seeing them play with passion, and it makes me happy when they encourage one another, and I love how coachable they are! I hope I have a little girl that is just like them!! okay, here is a picture of us at the tournament!

okay, last thing! I love my momma!!! we have been watching movies together today, and I was just thinking I am really glad I have her as my mom! I am very thankful for her, and sometimes I don't think I do a good enough job conveying how grateful I am for her! Her love for her family is the absolute best depiction of Christ's love that I have ever seen!! to me, love is when you would do anything for the one you love, and you always put that person before yourself. and when they are sad or when they are hurting, you are too! and when you love someone, just being in their presence is enough! Those are just a few elements of love, there is a lot more to it...but I think those things are imperative parts of love! here's my mom! and that's Renee Buckminster! I love her too, she is one of my mom's best friends, and I think of her as a great friend too!! I look up to her so much! I want to be like my mom and Renee when I grow up!

also, I love my cousin katie paige!! she is so wonderful, and she is great to talk to! even though we live hundreds of miles away, she is close in my heart and I will love her always!!!! okay here is us on christmas last year!! i can't wait until I get to see her! just threeeeeee more weeks!!!!!

I am very thankful for my friendships this year!! of course my best friends Erica and Annie are awesome, and my cousin, Katie, is the bomb! but I am also very thankful for other friendships that have grown stronger this year! A few that actually live in the same town as me.... My friend Cam has been awesome, we think a lot alike, but we are totally different. she always makes me laugh! she is the funniest person I know! and I think she is very cool, she has her own style which I really admire! I also have my own style.... but we are totally different! Emily is great too! she loves Halloween, and it cracks me up! she is one of the smartest people I know! and she hates being stereotyped as a blonde soccer player. she is so much deeper than that. she has such a complex mind that makes her so interesting! she is so unpredictable, yet I understand her completely! Heather is my closest friend that doesn't play soccer. we don't hang out as often because we are both busy, but when we get together we can talk for hours!! we are so girly together always getting our nails done, going shopping, hot tubbing, and having girl talk! she has amazing style and is an artist. her eye make up is a work of art! she is super fun, and we love being together! everyone on my soccer team is awesome, I think thats what I will miss most about it ending. because I love each one of them so much. Ashleigh, my old roommate is so fun, she is also really hilarious, and one of the most talented people I know! she can do hair, make up, cook/bake the most amazing things, and do a million other weird but super cool things. she is really goofy, but can also be very serious. I think she is brilliant as well. I am very thankful for Camille because she was my work out partner this summer and we encouraged each other a lot. we are both really ambitious and its refreshing to be around someone that is also really goal-oriented. she is often misunderstood because I think she is one of the sweetest people I know and has a good heart. needless to say, I love and adore my friends...and I am so appreciative of them!! God puts people in your life for a reason!!!!! and each of my friends are different and I don't think they would all be friends with each other, but they each bring something special into my life!

oh! I am reading a book called.. CRAZY LOVE....recommended by my assistant coach and friend, Michaela Brannan! I am LOVING it...it's totally reminding me how selfish I am! my only purpose is to love God and spread His love!!! life gets so complicated and I inflict unnecessary stress upon myself. I just need to glorify God. I am still in the beginning of it..but I will write more about it on my next entry!

finally, I came to a realization...I replaced being a chocoholic.....with....online shopping!!! i love it!! I think I am always waiting on something I ordered in the mail. as soon as I receive my package..I get online to buy something else! currently I am waiting in the mail for....shampoo/conditioner, lip gloss, a sweater, boots, and I think thats all. yep. I am addicted. I decided tonight its bad. I need to fix it. i need to save money...not be so frivolous! it's also selfish because its stuff I don't need, and I just talked about how I am selfish and thats bad.... well I admitted my guilt and I will being working to alleviate my problem.

okay, I am done! peace and love!!

I had a blast at Erica's bridal shower this weekend! She is already married, but has her actual ceremony is in less than a month!!! I stayed at her duplex, and it's so cute! but it occurred to me today that we won't get to have slumber parties with just anymore, and when she comes to visit it just won't be the same.

My cousin, Katie, is getting married too! I am her maid of honor! I can't wait to see her at Christmas, it will be our last time together before she gets married...so it won't be the same either! we always stay up late, and watch movies, and just have so much fun!

I got the iphone 4 today! woohoo! I love it :) I think I will name her, Natalia! it means being born on Christmas...and well. I was born on Christmas! and it's my phone! Natalia.

We had our first official game yesterday! it went great! we tied in double-overtime, shoulda won..but it was still a great game!! Since I played my very hardest (and felt like a zombie today) I decided to try making something delicious! so here is my newest creation! sugar cookies with a homemade frosting glaze!

I know. it looks like a rainbow threw up...I didn't bake the cookies long enough so it was basically like putting my yummy frosting on dough. I might try again tomorrow and make them better!

here is an Arizonan sunset, my daddy and brother get to see this every night, and soon I will too.

okay, so while I was frying in the sun today I was quite contemplative. too bad I didn't think about applying sunscreen! anyways. I was thinking about what qualities I find attractive in boys. Below, we have my top three celebrity crushes. Adam Brody, Leonardo Dicaprio, and of course Matt "Lion Heart" Lienart. pictures provided of course.

Anyways, on the subject of boys. This summer I realized I don't want to find that person right now. I am young and want to enjoy my life! I am also ambitious and I don't want to be attached. I think God has changed my heart a lot, because I am finally understanding patience. He has placed so many wonderful things in my life, and the desire for a boy is just not one of them. I know when the time is right I will find the perfect person, and that will be so fun! but I am at a great place right now, and I want to honor God by following His will for me, instead of seeking my own selfish desires! In the mean time I will just awe over Adam, Leo, and Matt. They are simply gorgeous!

by the way, I am still thinking about my hair decision (working on not being so impulsive) but thank you so much Susan Greathouse for your wonderful advice! I really liked it, and am seriously considering it! :)

peace and love!

I just realized I am a very impetuous person. I make decisions so fast! I guess I just know what I want! although I am a person that loves color, I see everything in black and white/ yes and no. I hate the color gray because it implies uncertainty. The word maybe sickens me. I never regret my rash decisions, but sometimes I think I should be a bit more cautious!

French Chocolate Hazelnut Cake!

this was the first summer I actually wanted to train for soccer! ..it's weird I love to work out, I think I only took 15 days off this entire summer. I am so thankful that my knee isn't hurting now. it's been three years and it finally feels strong. I used to love soccer, then somewhere between an ACL injury and having soccer become a tedious job...I lost my desire to play. but this summer it was revitalized. my joy for the game was restored, and great timing too..because I am about to embark on my last season. I have done my best to prepare, and now the fun part comes! I get to glorify God by doing what I love! I want to make Him happy by taking what He has put in my life and making the most of it!

I also gave up my chocolate binging. people were annoying me so much about my lifestyle, then I had an epiphany! I didn't understand that I was hurting myself and that I would have to face long-term consequences from my actions if I didn't alter my diet! its hard though, every day I wake up and want chocolate. I think about it all day, but I keep myself busy so I don't focus on it.

also, I gave up adderall! it made me a monster! I think I was getting dependent on it! I haven't taken it since june 3. I would rather be ADD and have to work extra hard in school then become a monster. thats what I was turning into, I would get angry at minuscule things, which isn't my personality type. I also felt like I was disappointing the people I felt closest to, and turning into toxic version of myself. So no more of those drugs. my personality is to addictive anyways...I used to take pain reliever as vitamins back when I had so much trouble with my knee. I would eat like 10 everyday...can't be good for my liver. so I stopped that last year.

oh, another "best" thing that happened this summer is that my daddy got a job at university of arizona!!! I am so excited for him! I will miss them so much, I am already heart sick about it.

I can't wait to graduate jbu, I really have a strong disdain towards the place. a lot has happened since I enrolled as a young and naive little girl. I have grown up and learned a lot. I am finally ready to be in the real world. I am finished resisting the inevitable. I have always been afraid of growing up, not in the sense that I don't want to be responsible, but I don't want to lose my energy, enthusiasm, and I don't want to get old physically. I realized this summer that my cheerful disposition does not depend on age, it comes from within. I can still have my child-like nature and still be a functioning adult! I have to prioritize and really focus on my duties as an grown up, but I will not become a boring old person! I will always love sparkles and bright colors and I will always have a joyful attitude even if I get wrinkly and old.

I want to focus on only a few things this year, but do them well. I want my relationship with my Savior to evolve and become stronger, I want to do my best in soccer and cherish my last year, I want to get through college and absorb as much information as possible along the way, I also want my friendships to become fortified, and become even closer to my family. I also want to take the things that bring me joy like children and helping others, and use that to help the world. I want to demonstrate God's love to others, and so that's something I am passionate about this upcoming year! I am so excited!

I have used this summer to grow, and understand myself better. I want to amplify my strengths and dissolve my weaknesses. the true test will be these next nine months when I face doubt, stress, failure and disappointment, and that's when I have to let God take over and I have to continue working hard! I am ready, and I am excited for this year!