Reasons to Shine

for me, deep contemplation comes most naturally late at night. Can't sleep right now, and I am thinking what is wrong with my life? I think I have been going through the motions a bit too much. Since soccer has ended, I have had this feeling that I could coast by. stay up as late as I want because I don't "need" energy for soccer, put off school work because without soccer I have more "free time", wasting my time doing pointless things, when I could be productive. I've had this feeling, no need to eat health soccer is over, I don't have to work out, I am not trying to stay in shape for anything...yes, I guess I am just making the transition, but tonight it hit me. I do not want to be mediocre, I want to be great. Not because of my own good deeds, but because of God. I don't want to take what He has granted me and waste it. I don't want to be anything less than what He wants from me. Yes, there will be times I fail, like now...but I want to emerge stronger than before I fell. I can't let stupid distractions take over, I need to keep my focus. because when my focus is Christ, then everything else falls into place correctly. when I let other things take over, the light in me quickly dims. today was a good reality check. being impetuous got me again, and it had me thinking, why? why am I hasty? I think its because I love fun, I love excitement, I love happiness. However, cheap fun and happiness can come quickly...but the fun and excitement that comes from Christ is real...temporary fun cannot compare to eternal life. therefore, my heart must be patient. I must not waste my time on foolish things. I need to keep my priorities right. my judgement gets clouded sometimes, but thank goodness its only temporary. I think today is a good day for change. today my focus will be on Christ, I will not get lazy, I will not become apathetic. I will have passion, determination, and strength to conquer anything. I want to do my best in everything I attempt... humbling experiences are often necessary for growth. there were no exclamation marks in this entry, so sorry...maybe I am feeling serious, but I think one exclamation mark is due so here it goes!!!!! okay maybe more than one was needed!