well, I have 48 hours of summer left! It was one of the best but also worsts summers of my life, I don't know how that happened, I will only write about the good parts.
this was the first summer I actually wanted to train for soccer! ..it's weird I love to work out, I think I only took 15 days off this entire summer. I am so thankful that my knee isn't hurting now. it's been three years and it finally feels strong. I used to love soccer, then somewhere between an ACL injury and having soccer become a tedious job...I lost my desire to play. but this summer it was revitalized. my joy for the game was restored, and great timing too..because I am about to embark on my last season. I have done my best to prepare, and now the fun part comes! I get to glorify God by doing what I love! I want to make Him happy by taking what He has put in my life and making the most of it!
I also gave up my chocolate binging. people were annoying me so much about my lifestyle, then I had an epiphany! I didn't understand that I was hurting myself and that I would have to face long-term consequences from my actions if I didn't alter my diet! its hard though, every day I wake up and want chocolate. I think about it all day, but I keep myself busy so I don't focus on it.
also, I gave up adderall! it made me a monster! I think I was getting dependent on it! I haven't taken it since june 3. I would rather be ADD and have to work extra hard in school then become a monster. thats what I was turning into, I would get angry at minuscule things, which isn't my personality type. I also felt like I was disappointing the people I felt closest to, and turning into toxic version of myself. So no more of those drugs. my personality is to addictive anyways...I used to take pain reliever as vitamins back when I had so much trouble with my knee. I would eat like 10 everyday...can't be good for my liver. so I stopped that last year.
oh, another "best" thing that happened this summer is that my daddy got a job at university of arizona!!! I am so excited for him! I will miss them so much, I am already heart sick about it.
I can't wait to graduate jbu, I really have a strong disdain towards the place. a lot has happened since I enrolled as a young and naive little girl. I have grown up and learned a lot. I am finally ready to be in the real world. I am finished resisting the inevitable. I have always been afraid of growing up, not in the sense that I don't want to be responsible, but I don't want to lose my energy, enthusiasm, and I don't want to get old physically. I realized this summer that my cheerful disposition does not depend on age, it comes from within. I can still have my child-like nature and still be a functioning adult! I have to prioritize and really focus on my duties as an grown up, but I will not become a boring old person! I will always love sparkles and bright colors and I will always have a joyful attitude even if I get wrinkly and old.
I want to focus on only a few things this year, but do them well. I want my relationship with my Savior to evolve and become stronger, I want to do my best in soccer and cherish my last year, I want to get through college and absorb as much information as possible along the way, I also want my friendships to become fortified, and become even closer to my family. I also want to take the things that bring me joy like children and helping others, and use that to help the world. I want to demonstrate God's love to others, and so that's something I am passionate about this upcoming year! I am so excited!
I have used this summer to grow, and understand myself better. I want to amplify my strengths and dissolve my weaknesses. the true test will be these next nine months when I face doubt, stress, failure and disappointment, and that's when I have to let God take over and I have to continue working hard! I am ready, and I am excited for this year!
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