Reasons to Shine

first day of school was fun! I love my classes, and I have lots of friends in them! I still miss my best friend, Annie, there is an emptiness without her here! my other best friend, Erica, is married now! I am so happy for her, she looked gorgeous. they are truly in love! it's so wonderful and happy to see! true love is such a beautiful thing to witness! I had a scrimmage tonight for soccer! it wasn't spectacular. our first touch was off, and we were tired from a million two-a-days! we still won, but it wasn't attractive soccer! I took a five hour energy shot before, and it just made me thirsty! I also felt jittery, but not more energetic. unless I can start playing soccer with a camelback attached, I am done with those things! they make you parched! new beginnings have the potential to be great, it's all about how you look at it! new school year...I don't want to be in Arkansas or at JBU...at all. but I am excited for this year. I hope it is my best yet! I'll be 22, and that's my soccer number, and my favorite number that exists!

Summer is done! I am so sad! summer is my favorite time of the year! I love doing what I want to do! I personally am not a fan of the whole academic thing! I love summer because I always have ambitions of change. I enjoy taking fourth months to become a better person inside and out! now, as I have strived to be a better person this whole summer, I will be now face challenges this school year, and I hope I conquer them! at church Sunday the speaker said, you must surrender your whole life to God, not just parts of it. My whole life I feel like I haven't been 100% vulnerable, and I haven't fully submitted my life to Him. It's a slow process of giving your whole heart to Him, and that's what I am doing now. I want my words to represent Him, I want my actions to be a reflection, and I want my thoughts to make Him happy! Besides getting caught up in soccer, and school, and maintaining strong friendship, I want that to be my focus! and with Him, I can handle the mundane classes, and brutal practices! I hope though my friends and family hold me accountable by my actions! I know I don't want to go back to school, but I am going to try to make it a great year! and then I outta here! finally!!!

Okay, I promise to make this a happier post, so sorry about the last one! I start school in less than a week! I cannot wait to be done!!! but I really want to enjoy my last year! I was looking at pictures, I have changed so much since last summer! last summer my hair was ten inches longer... then 0n the fateful day of August 24 2009....I chopped it off! so sad. also, my diet consisted ONLY of chocolate here is a pic I found....just one of my past lunches captured on film. It is a cappuccino chunky chocolate fancy ice cream sundae, with extra extra peanut butter, extra extra hot fudge, extra caramel, a fudge brownie underneath, the chocolate that freezes when it touches ice cream, and of course whipped cream! a total of 3000 calories! that used to be norm for me, now I resist and try so hard to not relapse! oh memories. I was about half way through when this picture was taken

Today is a sad day, my little brother and dad are leaving for Arizona. My dad will start his new job at University of Arizona in a few days, and Thomas will enroll in classes. I am so sad. My dad went to my soccer game last night, and I couldn't even play the second half because I was so upset..and I realized I would miss him so much...and I was crying the whole time! but God is in control, and He wants my daddy there, and I know it's the best thing! it's just hard being separated from him. The only reason I went to JBU was so my parents could watch me play soccer. and now he is going to miss my last season. so sad. but I will try to play really hard even though he won't be there. He also said he would surprise me a few times this season, and be cheering for me in the bleachers. It's sad watching them pack to leave. I feel bad for my mom and older brother too, because they are both sad too. I already feel an emptiness in my heart, missing them already. I need to be strong though. All of my friends at JBU have to go to school away from their parents, so it shouldn't be a big deal, but it's just not what I am used to! It's rainy today, it always rains when people I care about leave me.

I think color is beautiful. I feel like people take it for granted everyday! this is such a dull gray world we live in, and I think it needs more color! color brightens my day! why don 't I wear my make up like these pictures every day!?

Yay for two-a-day soccer practices! seriously though, I am really enjoying them!! this has already been the hardest pre-season yet, but I know it's preparing us for this season! When I was warming up tonight I was looking around at my teammates and realized I adore all of them! well, I don't know the new girls yet, so its kinda premature to say I love them, but they all seem nice so far! but as for my returning teammates...they are truly my best friends, and I love them all! I want them all to succeed this season and have the best season ever! one of my bestest friends, annie, didn't come back this year, and its like part of me is missing, but I really think we will both grow a lot during this year being separated! plus, distance doesn't break friendships, it just makes makes the bond stronger! anyways, I am so excited for this season! and I want to do my bestest!

In nine months I am moving to Tuscon, Arizona. so excited. However, today murderers from Tuscon, Arizona are reeking havoc on the quaint town of Siloam Springs. helicopters, squad cars, and US marshalls are in Siloam looking for the bad guys. so, the place I currently live in is being invaded by murderers that escaped from prison in the exact location I will be moving to. that's what I call irony. Now that I am 21 I think it's time to purshase a gun. I want a pink and sparkly one, preferably one that glows in the dark. It also needs ultra-violet bullets that burn your skin and paralyze you. what? I do have the right to bear arms. and who knows? I might come in contact with more serial killers when I transition to Arizona!